When You Say Yes To Something
You are saying no to something else.
No matter how true this is, we often pretend it isn’t.
Instead, we do one of two things.
We say yes, and yes, and yes, and yes, and yes, and yes, until we are overwhelmed, fed up, irritated, and stressed.
We become so busy that we forget our purpose.
And all those yeses become an obligation.
Or, we say no, and no, no, no, and no until our world has shrunk to just getting the basics done.
We say no to opportunities, new ideas, and technology and stay busy doing the same old thing day after day.
We stop growing, shut doors, and say things like, “I am too old to learn that.”
I used to say yes to every organization that came along.
I love to run and plan things—I hear laughing—so it was always tempting to be in the middle of everything, helping it grow.
But that meant I didn’t have time to write, think about new ideas, be with my family, read, or take time out because I was busy, busy, busy.
Finally, I realized that just because I like to be part of something doesn’t mean I should.
I had to step back and ask myself why I was doing each thing.
I started saying no so I could say yes to something else.
Sometimes, those were big pivot decisions, moving from one lifestyle to another.
I can remember each one, and although challenging, I am happy I made them.
When we want to do two things equally, knowing that one is all we can do requires listening to the internal voice that always guides us correctly.
Even small decisions, like buying things, require us to take the time to pause and ask why we want something.
Del and I have agreed that when we buy something similar to something we already have, the old one has to go. This helps make the decision harder but ultimately easier.
Should I buy a new coat just because it’s so cute when I know I have to remove one I already have?
Contrary to some popular opinions, more is not better.
When we say yes, we say no to something else.
The good news is that when we say no to something, we have the space and time to say yes to something more substantial.
It’s not deprivation.
It’s awareness and gratitude for the endless possibilities open to us.
If it helps, remember that when you say no to something, you leave it open and ready for another person to say yes.
Someone else said yes to everything I stopped running or doing. It was theirs to do and not mine.
All those items I didn’t buy keep our house free of clutter, and I am not a slave to owning things.
I do say yes to expansion with a clear awareness of my choices.
The benefit far outweighs the discomfort when I know the outcome benefits everyone.
And that is part of my why.
Say yes or say no—both are good.
Just be sure that the choice supports your “why.”
Want more help? I wrote this book, Say Yes To What You Want, The Intent Course, to help you make yes and no choices.
And here’s the self-study course based on the book.